My last blog post generated a lot of questions from my audience - I had people from Canada, India, Turkey, Bermuda, and many other places reach out, because I laid out my goals and my readers wanted to know how to better lay out their own goals.
As I discussed before, my goals are derived from my values. But how do you know what your values are??
Let me rewind a bit —
I believe living a fulfilled life boils down to two things - how you spend your time and if you achieve your goals!
Everyone spends their time based on their goals!
And everyone shapes their goals from their values!
I believe we are all put on this planet for a reason — and if you do not find your reason for being here other people will give you reasons — or you may fall in love with what society values — money, fame, and youth.
The truth is — when we dig deep we find that we all have an underlying yearning for something indescribable. It’s the thing that kings, explorers, and philosophers chase — that thing that religion and sonnets are made of. You can’t describe it but when you see it you know it – and I hope you have experienced it in your life, but I know many people that have not touched it.
So what is “it”?
I think “it” is an optimal challenge, but you have to believe in “it” too.
Optimal challenges are purposeful pursuits.
Purposeful pursuits are made from your values.
Often times when I speak with people they would like me to tell them what to do and how to do it!
THAT IS NOT HOW LIFE WORKS!
Let me show you how to find your purposeful pursuits in 3 steps -
1. Cultivate Discipline -
Discipline is unlike any other driving force in the universe. If you can constantly show up to the day’s task day in and day out without feeling inspired or motivated then you will be able to sustain the long days and nights it takes to truly unlock your own potential.
When I secured my job I did so well the first 9 months that the company invited me to NYC for a month — my wife and I goes as soon as we can – I thought I was the master of the universe. I had willed a dream into existence from my imagination in my solitary living room – I was on Wall Street having my professional portrait done!
The camera snaps and I am looking at an image of myself that is unfamiliar – the next morning my wife exclaims from the bathroom “I’ve lost 5 pounds!” and I am in the other room so confident in myself I strut to the bathroom and stare at the number on the scale “292 lbs” I am mortified. I say to my wife “This scale is broken” she laughs and says “But I lost 5 pounds!”
I am dumbfounded and humbled – I have always consider myself an athlete, and played every sport through high school and during college I worked very physically demanding jobs until I transitioned to office work. Then within 16 months of my new lifestyle I was 60 pounds overweight!
This was the hard reminder I needed to tell me that while I was cultivating mental discipline I had forgotten the building block to mental fortitude - physical discipline!! Physical discipline is about controlling yourself and the world around you!
This lightbulb moment of realizing I had lost control of my physical world didn’t bring a clarity and plan of action the very next day, week, or even month! It took me another year and three months to really get control of myself again! Why?!?
I made excuses… too many to count or tell. The truth was – I did not value my physical health and well-being. I just didn’t - there is no one else to blame.
Start by walking - it will help you think. Once you are walking 5 times a week for 15 to 60 minutes for twelve weeks you have really achieved something!! Celebrate being mobile again! Walking 5 times a week for 60 minutes can show yourself that you have control of your time and body! That's where miracles start!
Build up little by little until you are doing things you did not think were possible and give it time! Do this for six months then two years before you will see the changes you want!
I will talk more about physical discipline in another post!
I had to write down my values.
2. Write down your values -
This is the most overlooked step in any process – writing down what you aim to achieve. Grab a sheet of notebook paper – anything, a napkin! And write down what comes first in your life — here’s a small example:
Family
Friends
Personal Health
Work
Community
The next step is to order the items you have listed into priority of importance – so if you put family above work when there is a crisis at work and in your family at the same time you will know what to pick without a thought.
This small subset of valuable items I have listed above is just scratching the surface — go deep! Write down everything you think about!!
It may take weeks to get everything down, but once you have it written down - order it! Then start thinking about in each of these items how you can create 1, 5, and 10 year goals around what you value! If you value family - maybe that means saving up for a vacation! If you value work - maybe that is achieving a promotion or a career transition!
You may also realize you are wasting time on a lot of things you don’t care about! Cut those out!
Who knows what your goals end up being, but once they are written down and have an order you are ready for the next step - going down the rabbit hole!
3. Go down the rabbit holes -
This part is for the professional achievers - I want you to act like a scientist with your list. Everything is up for question and you will stop at nothing to get it!
Based on your goals you are setting up for yourself - remember to make them reasonable and attainable! (See my other blog - “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have!” if you need help with this!)
Now go down that rabbit hole! Start with wikipedia, youtube, or the library! Start after it with free resources you have at your disposal! Keep going!!
When you hit a roadblock or an obstacle look for the way around it, above it, or through it!
If you find something that makes you need to change direction - embrace it! Change directions!
Learn so much about your goal that you can explain to another person how to achieve it for themselves!
Following this 3-step plan while being kind to your future self you will start feeling so much more in-tune with yourself and the universe! Listen to yourself, ask for help, and keep learning!